The quarantine has kept us inside. Some more than others. My son, Joaquin, is in many ways the typical teenager. He’s taken to his e-learning with diligence and hasn’t missed a beat.
We recently went to his school to pick up his cap and gown, not sure what we’ll do with it since there’s no public ceremony. One of his teachers expressed congratulations and gratitude for him being him - a diligent, respectful, kind student. What I would call baseline human. I’m proud of helping him on his path to becoming fully-formed.
I’m sure having a kid like that in your class makes a teacher’s life many times better. They can expect fewer disruptions. Maybe their lessons stick, so there’s less one-on-one instruction needed. I also wonder if that model behavior robs students who with a little extra attention could be inspired to go beyond the acceptable work they do already. That bit of attention, might spark something.
I saw this a tweet, I think it was a tweet, and now I curse myself for not clipping it - about perhaps an advisor recommends that some of his masters degree students are talented enough to go for a PhD. If you know what I’m talking about, please shoot me a tweet, my twitter search kung-fu is still no good.
I’m also reminded of a section in David Brooks’ The Social Animal when Harold gets some extra attention from his English teacher and with some guidance, he’s inspired to read more than what is required and to write something inspired. An added benefit - he develops a rudimentary writing system It reminds me the system Ryan Holiday developed and used under his mentor, Robert Greene.
This leaves me feeling that maybe some “model-behavior” kids are getting short-changed by public education. Long term this can turn into a leak in America’s talent pool. It ends up creating what the Prussian educational system intended - compliant workers who understand and respect hierarchy but life is much more complicated these days.
Those sentiments are the not the purpose of this essay.
A drive alone with my son reminds of the song, Trip with my dad by Dada.
The song is about a road trip that a father and son make together.
There’s a lyric where the son mentions bringing his tapes - which I can only assume means his music. Sharing music with parents is difficult. I didn’t do it with my parents - but obviously I’m influenced by whatever music my parents played. I do remember playing the Beastie Boys "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" at what I considered an appropriate volume on our boombo. Mom didn’t appreciate that
My son introduced me to some of the rappers he follows, specifically Logic & NF - so we listened to a couple tracks of theirs. I’ve always appreciated rap as a musical art form for a long time. It can be poetry set to music. It can also be extremely intelligent. Some rappers are gifted writers using simile and metaphor to join topics that I am not culturally literate enough to understand.
I was blown away noticing these rappers and their open discussion of mental health and their own challenges with anxiety, depression, OCD, suicide. Does the creation of art require a touch of madness? Do you have to be a little crazy to believe you’ll succeed as a rapper and when success arrives, does the crazy go away? Talking about pain is a musical mainstay and these guys have taken it to the next level.
The rapper called Logic has a track called 1-800-273-8255 which is the phone number for the national suicide prevention hotline. He was interviewed about ithe track. His words below taught him a lesson and a when he realized after visiting in person with fans how important his work was. The same can be said about writing and sharing. You never know who you are helping.
Here’s Logic in an interview:
When I jumped on a tour bus that started in Los Angeles, California and I ended in New York City and did a fan tour where I went to fan’s houses and shared meals with them, hung out with them, played them my album before it came out. Them along with other people on tour, just fans that I met randomly, they’ve said things like, “Your music has saved my life. You’ve saved my life.” And I was always like, “Aw so nice of you. Thanks.” And I give them a hug and shit but in my mind, I’m like, “What the fuck?” And they’re really serious. And they tat shit on their arms and get shit like lyrics that save their life and in my mind, I was like, “Man I wasn’t even trying to save nobody’s life.” And then it hit me, the power that I have as an artist with a voice. I wasn’t even trying to save your life. Now what can happened if I actually did?
And it’s beyond just this song. It’s the whole album. What can happen if I took myself out of my comfort zone and made a whole album about everybody and everybody’s struggles including my own which is one I’ve never done. What if I silenced my own fear and I say, “I’m scared talk about my race. I’m scared to talk about the state of this country but I’m going to do anyway. I’m going to persevere. Man, how many lives can I really save then?”
We only get a set period of time with our children. As they get older, that time diminishes further. They want to spend time with their friends or alone. My advice is to savor those opportunities to connect listening to the same music, reading the same books. Trying to glimpse a moment of their lives through the lens of music or literature your children provide. Connecting other ways is also possible but music and books can provide richer context for other topics instead of discussion like mental health or racism. Logic has a throwaway lyric: "Y’all know I’m half black like Obama.” which is provocative, humorous and fun - a great segue way into a difficult topic.
I hope to continue to learn from my children. They teach me new things daily. At the moment, I’m fascinated at my children use of social media They aren’t on the twitter bandwagon yet but I’m confident I can win them over.
If you like this essay, feel free an reach out via twitter. @geodiv
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